As a diehard Marvel fan, I still feel strange about Avengers: Endgame… parts of the film were remarkably rewarding, like the “Worthy Cap” moment and the Steve-Tony reconciliation. But other parts of the film still bother me, like Natasha sacrificing herself for the Soul Stone and Steve leaving behind Sam and Bucky. It’s a jumping-off point for the future of the MCU and their TV shows, as our heroes like Monica Rambeau, Peter Parker, and Wanda Maximoff begin to work through the Snap and the Blip as individuals. As a final note, I want to say that I feel differently about some of the things I’ve written here now — I say it much better in fewer words on Letterboxd — but many of the feelings are still there.
I attended the Avengers: Endgame fan event at the Tysons Center AMC the night before it opened with the intent of enjoying it thoroughly. I called out of work, cancelled all my plans, and made sure I was caught up on all the possible theories of what happened to our favorite Avengers post-Infinity War. The MCU was a constant in my adolescent and teenage years, and this film really did feel like the end of an era for me and my friends, who had seen every movie in theatres (and subsequently rewatched them at home, huddled around a laptop).
I had high expectations for this movie. I feel like most of those expectations were met. But there was truly no other experience quite like a movie theater full of 300 people, all of whom were the most dedicated fans–why would you go to the early-release showing if you weren’t a hardcore fan?–watching Endgame for the first time. It was the earliest showing in the Maryland-Virginia area, which meant everyone going in wouldn’t have read reaction posts online before coming to the theater. It was going to be a raw, unfiltered experience for everyone present. The reactions (spoiler-free, of course) that night and the following morning would belong to us!
Upon my arrival, I was given a commemorative coin as part of my “fan ticket package” along with a complimentary drink. Why AMC decided that giving movie-goers a free drink as opposed to a free candy or popcorn to enjoy during the film that literally nobody would want to miss a second of was either sheer ignorance or the single best prank pulled on fans. I had seen so many tweets before that night saying that they didn’t care if they had to pee during Endgame, they weren’t getting up. So perhaps the cups were intentional.
The fans all buzzed around the theater, talking with each other and swapping theories and predictions. It was beautiful, in a way, to hear so many people who had never met before bonding over this film and this universe. The couple sitting next to me told me that they had seen every Marvel movie from 2013 on together and that Thor: The Dark World was their first date. The way they talked about seeing Endgame together after six years of having this Marvel movie date ritual hit home for me. This was the second Marvel movie I had seen without my core group of friends, the first being Captain Marvel earlier this semester, and it felt bittersweet to be seeing it all by lonesome when I knew that my friends were back at home getting ready to see it together that night.
When I asked the family sitting behind me how many Marvel movies they had all seen together as a family, they told me they had been seeing these movies together with their oldest son since Iron Man came out in 2008. I, too, had a family connection: my mother took me to see my first Marvel movie, Avengers, back when I was twelve along with my younger brothers. She took me to see several other MCU movies in theaters, too; it felt odd to not have her there since she introduced me to the franchise.
But onto the film: I said that I had high expectations for this movie and that they were mostly met. There were a few things I absolutely loved, like the centralization of Nebula’s story and character arc and the rekindling of Steve and Tony’s friendship. Those things I expected going into the movie and I think the Russo Brothers did a fantastic job with those two aspects of the story. The final battle was spectacular as well–the Snap bringing back all of the characters through the magic portals from Doctor Strange with all of our favorite heroes stepping through them one by one was, for lack of a better phrase, absolutely amazing.
The fan-service of this movie was unlike any other film I’d ever seen, and the final battle capitalized on the fan service in the most satisfactory of ways. When Steve confirmed the fact that he was worthy enough to wield the Hammer of Thor in the battle, the entire theatre screamed in excitement and anticipation of his next move because of how it was slightly teased in the afterparty scene of Avengers: Age of Ultron. It was a perfect touch to an already exciting and exhilarating movie to see the most honorable and virtuous character in the MCU finally get his due in such a grandiose way. Some people in front of me even stood up and cheered.
The single most shocking moment, though, was when Clint and Natasha travelled to Vormir to retrieve the Soul Stone. This was a scene that… I did not love. Not having Natasha fight alongside her friends and found family felt wrong. The way the Russo Brothers have treated Natasha as a character was spades better than the way Joss Whedon did in Avengers and Age of Ultron, but Endgame kind of dashed that. Natasha was my role model as a young teenager and seeing her go stung. I would have felt the same about Clint, though, if he had sacrificed himself instead. I’m not sure how this scene, and the retrieval of the Soul Stone, could have gone without a lot of weeping and a lot of shock. Breaking up the original six Avengers before the final battle appeared to be done simply for shock factor; nothing in the movie indicated that Natasha’s story would end in this kind of sacrifice. That was my biggest qualm with the movie.
However, people were the most reactionary upon the scene of Tony Stark’s death; when he stole the stones from Thanos at the last second and absorbed them into the nanotech of his suit, replied to Thanos’ “I am inevitable” with “And I’m Iron Man,” snapped his fingers, and dusted Thanos and his army (from a separate reality- this reality’s Thanos was already killed), the whole audience clapped and cheered in approval. It was the most powerful scene and it bled into his death scene, where he was surrounded by Pepper, Rhodey, and Peter before it cut to every Avenger attending his funeral.
Throughout the theater, I heard crying as they panned over everyone at the funeral. The couple sitting next to me were holding hands and the girl was crying into her boyfriend’s shoulder; after the movie, I asked her if Tony was her favorite, and she said no, it was Thor, but that she didn’t realize how attached she was to Tony until this scene and seeing his sacrifice. The same thing happened with a friend back at home; my friend had been a very vocal Tony anti-fan until this movie because his death and sacrifice was so emotionally profound; that is what I have heard a lot of fans online say as well who were formerly Tony anti-fans.
The mid-credits scene (there was no fun post-credits scene at all) included the core six Avengers actors’ signatures superimposed over a portrait and iconic scenes of their characters, ending with Robert Downey Jr.’s; I have never cried more upon seeing a signature and heard more cheers and applause. Everyone was crying and sobbing into their friends, partners, or family members or into their tissues if they went alone like me. It was a truly profound experience to have and everyone was discussing that they couldn’t believe it was finally over; so many people in this audience were around my age and had clearly grown up with this story. A woman I met in the bathroom, crying, told me that watching Tony die hurt her more than when Peter Parker got dusted away in Infinity War and hit her in a painful place because she named her son Tony after Tony Stark.
This movie brought a group of fans, some of them lifelong, together for the big finale and closure to a profound story. I have never seen a group of fans, who online are so divided, come together and experience something in a positive and beautiful way. This movie moved fans to feel things for characters they could care less about or actively disliked, which I think is a testament to how powerful the movie was for these fans. This movie, despite its plot holes that are not in fact plot holes, was moving. It was emotionally and physically overwhelming, but it was also emotionally satisfying because all of the characters had their happy endings and had their arcs end in beautiful ways, befitting their characters.
With A Hero 